kaginhawaan

I am tired, can't you see? I am not complaining. I love what I am doing. It is just that, sometimes, you people forget that like you, I too am human. There is just too many responsibilities, too many expectations. All I'm asking is JUST one day. One day to wake up late, one day to have my nails done, and one day to read Tales of two cities by Charles Dickens; given to me by a good friend of mine, Aiken. I know, my enumeration of things that I want to do may sound shallow to you, but it is a desperate call for spending some time with me, myself and I.

nostalgic

I regained the courage to move on, until I heard that stupid love song.

I want to remind you how much I was giving you EVERYTHING. I want to push you real hard, hoping that maybe you'd hit the wall and feel how much pain you caused me. But, on the other hand, I think I don't need to see nor talk to you anymore.

For some time now, I thought I was okay. I was having the time of my life being single, spending so much time with my friends without feeling accountable to anyone, but to myself. Until, it hit me: The pain is still there, together with all the morbid memories.

Everytime I see my friends being heart broken over somebody, it always reminds me of what had happened. I can't wait to get rid of these all. I can't continue living with memories of you haunting me. They say that TIME heals, and I believed that. But, I think they were too excited forming that cliche that they forgot to specify how long?

its all a game

I am starting to believe that romantic relationships have a new meaning. In a relationship that can be bonded by men-women, men-men, and women-women, it all seems to have one vicious cycle - the cycle called game. Not long ago, I hated the game where one just have to get hurt. But, just recently, I realized that there is no point hating the game for what can I do? That's the game and the game has its rules. However, the rules did not write on who the constant players are. So, right now, I'm not hating the game, but I am hating the players. Whoever said that the players can never change? Of all the "games" that I've been to, I have always given my opponent the consent to defeat me, but not anymore. Now, I am starting to understand the game more and this time, I am going to play it right.

our baby, our angel

For 21 years...

I have been the family's princess

I have been everybody's favourite

my grandmother's love

my brother's responsibility

my mom's companion

my dad's pride

For 21 years...

I never had someone to look after

I never had to worry of getting the bad share

I never felt like I should worry

but, after 21 years of convinience full of love and care from the people who loves me unconditionally, I am ready to share that with somebody. Somebody who isn't even out in the world yet, but I'm already treating as my queen.

To Jairah Carlisle Torres, my first nephew, I'm inlove with you already. I always made myself believe that I was the only baby and princess in the family, but as you are now in our lives, I will always be more than willing to share the throne with you, or even give the throne all to yourself. I'll see you soon our dearest angel!