Tuesday, October 13, 2009

well, hello there!

Okay.. I checked my last entry and I can't believe I haven't entered a single blog here for almost 7 months - well, entered a few in Friendster, but still! No wonder a lot has happened in my life, it has been once again almost 7 effin' months! Wow!!!

First of all, I have already been in California for almost 6 months now and still, I am in my adjustment process. I don't know how long I'll be staying here or when I can get to visit the Philippines, at least - though I'm hoping it would be sometime soon. sigh.

6 months in California and my life has changed full 360 degrees! First of all, I've met my fiance Erik and to cut the long story short, we're getting married in Las Vegas next week, and to cut the story even shorter, I am almost 4 months pregnant! Shocked,huh? LOL. I'm not getting married coz I got pregnant, by the way. The idea of getting married came before we found out I'm pregnant.

Then, a lot of broken relationships. I am not in good terms with my brother and his wife and details I don't wanna discuss anymore. And, honestly, I think this is for the best. I have so much sentiments that I don't wanna discuss with them anymore, coz I know for sure that stuborn people are never open for this kinds as they are so stubborn we'll just be in a neverending battle on who is right and who is not. Then, my bestfriend Carra. I feel like she abandoned me, period. I don't know what she feels, but this time, I wanna focus more on what I feel. At least for once, you know?

I'm going through a lot of phases right now. I'm anxious, frustrated and scared. It seems like lately, it is so hard for me to remind myself of the faith that I started with. Or, maybe this is just a challenge for my faith to begin with? sigh. Plus, I feel like I'm mourning for the first time. If daddy was here, he'd know what to do for sure.