You Are My Beautiful Surprise

You are my susceptibility, my strength, my morning coffee and my midnight cigarette
The feeling is a mixture of excitement, danger and nervousness with surprising bliss moments on top
Every word that comes out from your mouth I long to listen to
and every stolen glance and smile you give me gives butterflies in my stomach

It was not the perfect night I used to imagine while reading one of my favorite romantic novels. There were no birds humming, no roses to make me swoon over you even more, and no lying on the sand while gazing at the stage of stars above. But, it was still one of the most beautiful nights of my entire life. You made it seemed like nothing else mattered that time except you and I.

I thought princesses are only those who wear crowns above their heads with stunning dresses to compliment their blue eyes, until you made me feel that I was a princess on a Thursday night.

I think I have just cornered myself in deep vexation. So deep that I don't even mind being buried alive.

Salamat

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going

Secrets of an Occasional Lover

WOULD I RATHER BE THE GIRL HE SHARES HIS SECRETS WITH? OR THE GIRL HIS SECRETS ARE ABOUT?


I usually doubt his honesty, but I'm not sure either if knowing the whole truth would make things better. He tells me things that he thinks I should know about and shuts me off when he thinks I'm crossing the line. It took two fucking cold treatments from him before I finally realized that I am not his brat. Two fucking cold treatments from him before it fully got into me that showing too much emotions I have for him would just push him away instead of keeping us together. I finally learned to let him know that I love him, but still gives him this occasional chance to ponder if I really do. Perhaps I call that my personal art of war on Love - the chasing and the reading of the mind. It's true that the feeling of security is important, but once you treat it as if it's a freebie, you just killed the mystery that keeps the fire burning.

And besides, what does an occasional lover got to complain?



I'm still sticking to being that girl his secrets are about.

He Said... She Said...

He worries when you're out all night and follows-up if you have gone home safely. He texts you every now and then just to remind you to take your meal and you do the same thing. He does you favors you know he wouldn't just do to any one else. He questions those times when you don't reply to his texts right away. And most of all, both of you have sex every so often.

He tells you you are special and that both of you should just enjoy each other, while you just smile and agree when deep inside you know you want more than that, you know you want assurance. So yeah, he is not your boyfriend and you are not his girlfriend. Exclusively dating? not even.

Your friends ask you what the real score is, and when you have just started saying special frie... your friends just finished the word "bullshit" in chorus. Of course you won't care anyway coz you know you really are "special friends" (bullshit). Him bringing you McDonalds, chocolates and planning what gift to give you on Christmas are just few of th things that can support it.

For awhile, you are this strong woman who like him is just enjoying each other. Until, the inevitable happens, you became emotional and it complicated things - er, according to him at least. You broke down and confessed your love to him, he threw the ball back at you by saying that it was your fault. Desperate of wanting to see him after the "fight," you flood him with texts, while he simply just ignores. And when you already become "too" irritating, he finally texts you telling you that you are unreasonable and that you are not his girlfriend.

It hits you big time. Yeah, you know that from the very start, but it's different when you really hear it from another person, especially when it comes from the last person you want to hear it from. So, trying to protect the littlest sense of pride left for your being, you struggle to distance yourself from him. There are moments when you just had to text him once or twice a day, until you finally found a way not to totally text him at all. And when you finally become numb of not having him, not texting or calling him for a week, you recieve a message from him saying he misses you. After some desperate attempts to ignore him, you reply the expected - I missed you too.

Secretly you are happy that he finally texted and as not to spoil the moment, you agree that it was just your fault. And then you go back to being "special friends."

Mama2x paano ako ginawa?

Anak: mama, ano po ba ang sex?

Mama: Naku anak! saan mo ba narinig yan? Inday! Inday! Ano ba itong ipinapanood ninyo sa TV, huh?! diba sabi ko sayo cartoon network lang! Inday! Nakikinig ka ba?!

Anak: eh, ano nga po ang sex mama?

Mama: Haay naku anak! late na ako sa trabaho at huwag mo nang iisipin yan ha? masama yan! (sabay alis papuntang opisina...)


Anak: YAYA, ano nga po ba ang sex?

Inday: ay hijo, ang sex kung sa bisaya ay................ blah... blah...


(gud luck!)

Naranasan mo na bang?

Naranasan mo na bang.....


mainip sa kakahintay ng iyong autoload o e-load?

magising ng alas otso para sa klase mong alas siyete?

maubusan ng pera isang araw bago ang inyong beach outing?

magdala ng gatorade at matanong ng "painom?"

mangapa sa dilim at biglang maisip na, "pucha! may ilaw nga pala kami!"?

malabasan ng tubig sa ilong nang dahil sa kakatawa?

maipit ng panty mo ang palda mo sa likod?

umorder ng kadami-dami at magsisi sa huli?

bumili ng peke at magsisi?

umorder ng large fries, double burger at DIET coke?

tumawa ng malakas sa library?

mahilo sa MRT?

makalimutang ang iyong pitaka kasama nang inyong deyt?

bumasa ng librong makapal at walang maintindihan?

bumasa ng librong 20 pages at wala paring maintindihan?

matahimik sa harap ng isang dayuhan?

magsisi at bakit hindi mo sineryoso ang iyong Spanish class?

magdala ng kodigo sa mahaba niyong exam?

magsinungaling at mahuli?

at higit sa lahat......

naranasan mo na bang magtanong kahit na alam mo na ang sagot?

after years and years...

As much as I try myself from not over doing the excitements of the newly graduates, I can't help but scribble a little bit. Life certainly has its wonders. Yesterday you were still cramming for your long major exam, and before you knew it, you are already standing, taking oath and shifting your tassel to the left corner of your cap. What's next? you should ask. Now I know why school is sometimes better, and safer if I may say. When you were still in the four corners of your alma mater, at least you'd know what to do tomorrow - wake up early, eat breakfast, go to school. But, when all of those have come to an end, you suddenly realize that for the first time in your life, you do not know what to do next. You suddenly fear the imagery of being poor. because true enough, your choices today will either make your or break you. Welcome to the real world! as how most of the professionals would say. I wonder what my first job would be like, and I wonder how would my first salary pay would feel. I want to do millions of things, if only all of those are possible and necessary. Sometimes, I would still wish that I'd be in school tomorrow. Sometimes, I wish I still have an exam to pass. But, being in college forever wasn't my eternal plan. Damn i don't wanna be a bum. Hopefully, a month or two of soul searching will do the job.