Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Morning after

[10:47 pm] YOU: Tirada?

[11:03 pm] ME: Tambay lang...

[12:40 pm] YOU: Wud?

[12:46:02 am] ME: Laag.. Bakit pala?

[12:46:07 am] YOU: Wala lng. msma na b mag ask?

[1:09:27 am] ME: Aw.. Hehe hndi man. Amew

[1:09:55 am] ME: Tama.. Happy vday! hehe

[12:52 am] YOU: Hus wd u?

[1:13 am] ME: Anton and his friends...

[12:56 am] YOU: Cnoh yan?

[1:14 am] ME: C Anton gd.. Ung nkwento ko sau b4...

[1:15 am] YOU: Ah ung nobyo mo?

[1:16 am] ME: Nanliligaw pa lang ui.. Hehe. Kaw, musta kna?

[1:17 am] YOU: Ok lng.. lgaw pa tlga?

[1:19 am] ME: Aw,gud to hear ur ok. yep, ligaw pa.. Bsdes, i won't deny f ever mgka bf na ako.. hehe. kaw jud.

[1:20 am] YOU: Ok. Anjan pa ung iniwan ko sayo? I miss you a lot.

[1:23:36 am] ME: Yep, san pa man pla mapunta un. Aw, un lang pla na miss mo. hehe, amew. bsta andito lang un. Though hnapin ko pa san exactly.

[1:23:38 am] YOU: Anoh b! ndi lang un. kundi ikaw. pero ksama na un sa package. pero ikaw gyud.

[1:26 am] ME: Same here...

[1:27:32 am] YOU: Tlga?

[1:27:57 am] ME: Nasanay mo bya ako na andito ka lag, so xempre eh... hehe

[1:27:59 am] YOU: Lab2x... Hahai... Puntahan kita?

[1:30 am] ME: Hindi Tama... Next time nalang if sure ka na d ka na mawala.. goodnight. hinay drive ha =)

[1:32 am] YOU: Wat u min?

[1:35 am] ME: Hindi na 2 tama kc may gf ka na... and next time na natin ibalik ang dati kung cgurado ka na dli na ka mamiya. Icpn nalang natin na at least we're good friends =)

[1:37 am] YOU: Aok.

For the first time in my "you & i" existence, I did something that is actually right than something that just feels right. For the countless of times that you've been coming and going in and out of my life, I have always wanted to tell you this: "Unya na balik if sure ka na dili na ka muhawa." However, it's either the situation did not suit that much practiced one-liner sentence or I didn't had the courage to utter it yet, coz the urge to be with you again even just for a split of a second was stronger. Since I stayed away from you, I thank God for giving me the strength and ask him to give me a chance to prove to myself that I can be stronger than I think. God has given me two or three of this chances already, but I always fail them until just minutes after Valentine's day.

The whole night while I was having fun with my friends, I still couldn't resist looking from one corner to another hoping that I could see you around - to no avail. And when you sent me the text, I admit that I felt happy coz at least you thought of me too. I know not replying at all was the best thing I could have done, but I'm not strong enough for that yet (replying to you in the most coherent and logical way possible was a brainer). The moment you told me you missed me, God knows how I wanted to just run to where ever you were and hug you really tight and tell you how much I miss you more, but guess my senses were at my side then; I chose to do the right thing,finally.

I remembered Din2x telling me that doing the right thing will eventually make a person happy, even if it will hurt for a little while. I feel happy that I have finally come to tell him what I should've done a long time ago, but at the same time, it hurts me to know that I am really starting to let him go. Tinuod na gyud diay ni akoa..

This morning when I woke up, I read our text conversation twice or thrice and hurts even more each time. It's not that I don't want to be with him, but it's just not right anymore. I didn't agree to meet him, because I already grew tired of seeing him go. And if I have said yes, I know it would have been the same pattern and I wanted to give myself a break and stop starting from scratch over and over again.

After our text, I'm not sure if you would still text me ever again. I mean, I know you this much to figure that I hit your pride right there and then- Besides, aren't you used to hearing just all yes-es from me? And maybe the thought of this contributes a lot to the throbbing I feel now.

When you already have a girl friend ang sugot ghpon ko magsabay ta, happy kaayo ko right at that very moment but mag regret ko after coz masakitan napud ko. Pero gabii, I was sad kay chance na unta 2 to be with you again but I just decided to make it right pero wala nko regrets after. Fulfilling man pud diay ang feeling to once in a while protect yourself from your kryptonite.