Sunday, January 18, 2009

tama na

I can do this.. I can do this.. I can do this...

I am terribly missing you. I am struggling to take you away from my mind, from my heart, to take you away from my life. I know this is just a phase. I know sooner or later I will be okay. I don't wanna think about whatever we had before, because it is hurting me like hell. I wished I never met you again, I wished at the very beginning I just didn't entertain the thought of you as something beautiful. I want you to know how wrong you have done me and how stupid your actions were, but you do not have the right to know my feelings anymore. I want you out of my system and I want that fast! You know what we had was something wonderful, but you chose to throw them all away. When I told you that I should get mad at you, but just don't wanna be, you even asked me why. Are you really that cold-hearted? or you just really wanted me to spell that out for you?

I want to believe that I am okay. But the truth is, I'm not and the only time that I could finally say that I am is when I stop wishing that you would be miserable. God knows how much I want to wish you well, but I am no saint and much more I am no God.

They say I shouldn't rush the healing and I agree. I know this will take some time, but would it be too much to ask God to make it a little bit sooner?