Saturday, January 31, 2009


How are you? er wait! I'm not really sure if I wanna know...

Uhm, how can I explain this...

For some unexplainable weird reasons, I feel very happy. As a matter of fact, I smile for no reasons. You know how it is when one is really really inlove? that! I feel that! But, minus the really really inlove feeling and a particular guy. But the effect is exactly the same. Maybe this is because I am happier now with myself coz I've been spending so much time with and for myself. I've been focusing on my betterment, I am listening to music that does not remind me of you at all. And the only time that I would feel down is when I start missing you again (I label those moments as "episodes), and every time those episodes come, I just rush to a quiet corner where no one is around, close my eyes and pray to God and daddy to help me accept the things I can't change, change the things that I can and the wisdom to know the difference. And I become okay. I owe a lot to my Faith and to my friends.

However, not missing you anymore at all is a struggle, especially if I start thinking that heart's day is approaching. I don't text you anymore, and you don't text me anymore either. I'm still praying that this would be a faster process. I know I'll be okay, but this is no easy thing to do. Pergaps scientist should just start inventing over-the-counter medicines that would instantly compartmentalized the things a person wants and does not want to remember. Or maybe that would be easier if Bill Gates cooperate too.